July 20, 2011

to a liberal society through the reverse direction

In my previous post, i mentioned about my wish to live in a more liberal society. Perhaps I should reprhase it as "open minded society" because when I actually think about it, I am living in a liberal society eventhough it doesn't look so at the first sight.

This statement is particularly true for big cities who suffers from migration, but not villages, towns or even relatively small cities. But if you are living in a city as crowded and chaotic as Istanbul, you will amazed how liberal this city may be - yet again, not in the first sense you would think of. 

It is all based on the balance of power, or rather, lack of it. We are not really a open minded society, we just have to admit it,  and even those of us who seem like more open minded than the rest of us can hit to their walls much earlier than you might expect.  What's more, those walls don't usually confine the owner itself, and they attempt to confine other people too, when ever possible. However, nobody really has the power to achieve it.

Sultanbeyli, one of the most crowded
urban areas in Istanbul

This may not seem like a bad thing in the beginning. And for a lot of reasons, it is indeed better that people don't have enough power to intervene other people rather than they have it. Unfortunately though, this does not necessarily lead us to a more liberal society that I long for. Rather, it leads us to chaos.

I specified "big cities such as Istanbul" for a reason. These cities are suffering from a ruthless migration. Now hold on, I am not suddenly going to become the next fascist asshole who tries to get rid of aliens in hometown. Nope, that's not it. But you just have to see that these people are coming from villages or towns, or even smaller cities in which not-open-minded societes have an oppressing effect on them. And when they come to a big city where things already seem like chaotic, they get this impression that they are free to do everything they want because there will be nobody to stop them. And there will indeed be nobody to stop them. Because nobody wants to get into trouble, especially when they know that it might be extremely hard to get out of that trouble, if they can ever.  Because from an indiviual point of view, we are all powerless.

I am not saying that everybody suddenly becomes uncontrollable. But from a sociological point of view, only 5% of a society sharing a same pattern of habbits can easily dominate the rest, especially if the rest 95% prefers not to get involved. And you can bet that, we overreached that 5% barrier long  time ago.

So in a way, we are indeed a liberal society, because if you want to do anything, it is very unlikely that there will be anybody on your way. But is highly questionable if this is the right directon to achieve that liberalism.

July 13, 2011

what is the difference between cheating and pretending as if cheating?

My wife and I watched one of the old episodes of the tv show Californication, last night. And let me tell you this, the show takes the notion complicated to a far new level. The kind of life those people in the show are having is beyond my comphresension. And even though I prefer to define myself as a supporter of indiviual freedom, this show really makes me consider my thoughts on the issue. It pretty much seems like freedom may be extremely destructive if you are not equipped with the right tools which will make it useful.

To make things clear, let me assure you that i am not trying to put myself in a morally superior position. God knows what I would have been doing if I had been one of those characters. But let me assure you one more thing, even though i find myself wishing that i lived in a more liberal society, more than often, this kind of "lost in freedom life" is too much for me.

But I'm not going to discuss that today. There was something very intersesting in that episode we watched last night, which made me think: "what is the difference between cheating and pretending as if you cheated?"

There is this Hank character who is a total womanizer. And there is this Karen character who is his... err, i don't know, it is indeed complicated. They obviously love each other but they have an impossible relation because Hank is not a kind of a person of responsibilities. He is a good guy in nature, but he just doesn't care enough for anything. Or at least, this is how I see him.

So, last night, this Karen character told Hank that a particular third guy is a good kisser, implying that they made sex, or at least kissed passionetly. It was not true. They did not make sex, and they did not even kiss. The other guy tried to kiss her, thinking that he had a green light, but Karen stopped him. Their lips contacted for a few seconds, but it was not a legitimate kiss.

But Karen wanted Hank to think that they kissed. I can understand her reasons. She wants to make Hank jeolous. It is another matter if it is right to make sex with (or even kiss) another person to revenge or to make someone jeolous, but given the fact that she chose to do that, what is the point in not actualy cheating someone but pretending as if you did? I mean, this is not some kind of an unfortunate misunderstanding. She delibaretly choses to make him think in a particular way, even though she doesn't do it. She is obvioulsy not the kind of a person who would pursue her basic instincs, but she choses to make him belive that she is like that. And I don't get that --  lol, as if I get anything going on in that show.

July 01, 2011

ego master

What do people actually think when they hold a tooth pick in their mouth? Do they really think they look cool? Well, they obviously don't. They just look stupid. And it is funny that nobody has told them this bitter fact.

Actually, if you look around, you will see people doing things which they desperately hope that will make a cool impression. You can even say that this is one of the basic instincts the world spins around. Everybody wants to impress everybody, and everybody has a different way to do it. Some of these methods work, some of them don't work, and some of them cause just the opposite of the desired effect.

Like the family breakfast we had about a month ago. One of my nephews said he was finally allowed to plug his computer because the school season was over. At this point, I agree with his parents: a pc may be nothing but a distraction when it comes to studying. And making a research for the homework might be nothing but a bullshit excuse to spend some time in front of the pc. But this is not what I'm going to talk about.

The kid told me that his keyboard and his mouse didn't work after months of not using it, so they had to buy a new set. Then he kept his story, which was about a computer game. And at that point, his father intervened and told his son to tell what kind of a keyboard and mouse they bought: wireless. Wow, cool. I mean, is it really? Come on, why would anyone would give a shit about the wireless keyboard you bought? And is this even something you can brag about? You can go to any market and buy the thing. What is the big deal? I mean, I can understand if the 14 year old boy told it himself, but even he knew that this was not something you can make a cool impression with.  People on the table were kind enough to say "Oh, cool!" not letting the guy how he made a fool of himself. But this was what he did, while in fact he thought he made a very cool impression. Oh, crap.

I see people on the bus, on the road, in the office, and practically everywhere trying to impress other people. It is really funny, and for most of the time it really doesn't work.

And me? Of couse I am not immune to this very basic human istinct. Just like anybody else, I would like to see people are impressed by me. And I think I have my own unique method which works pretty well. The trick is: never ever try to impress people. Don't push things. If you think your wireless keyboard is something you can impress people, just wait until they visit you and see it themselves. If there is anyway that stuff is going to impress anyone, this is it. And for those strangers who most people desparately try to impress even though they will probably never ever going to see them again, I don't know why they even bother.